THE ROLE OF VICTIMS

ANALYZE FACTS BUT AVOID BLAMING THE VICTIM

NEW BRAINTREE, MA December 3, 2011 Inevidably DVH is the sole responsibility of the abusive and violent spouse. It is never appropriate to lay blame on the victim. After interviewing scores of individuals regarding DV and DVH it becomes evident that an analysis of the facts must include the analysis of the behavior of the victim as well as the abuser. It is well known that commonalities exist in individual cases of DV that may be a source of education and intervention. For example, in this age of social media greater care must be taken to avoid humiliation through exposure. Daily postings about trips, weekend plans, and new friends can create a feeling of resentment if read by an estranged spouse. That is no fault of the victim but it happens and caution should be taken. There are cases where the social media postings of victims have alerted the abuser to changes in living situation including new address and other intimate knowledge that may impact her safety plan.


It is important that victims of DV be provided support for their decisions and be helped to understand the risk they face.  Domestic violence is an under reported crime.  It often takes years for victims to come forward and decide to leave an abusive man.  The risk is greatest when this happens because the abusive spouse suddenly feels he is loosing control.  Arguably when this occurs "the man becomes enraged with his loss of control at the attempt by the woman to "break the relationship" and engages in various acts of harassment which include stalking, threats, assault or other subtle forms of 'psychological warfare.'" (Brayden 1998)  As he becomes less significant to his spouse the risk of violence grows.  The extend of this violence depends on the cognitive and emotional stability of the individuals involved.  Some men become distorted in their belief of "ownership" of the victim.  The case from Dexter, Maine resulted in a sharply decompensated man first destroying the family home by removing the furnace and copper piping and next destroying the family in a despicable act of murder-suicide.