Domestic Violence may hit close to home!

Domestic Violence not the product of Poverty

NEW BRAINTREE, MA October 31, 2012  Domestic Violence is not the product of poverty or unemployment or alcoholism alone.  DV cuts across all socioeconomic levels from rich to poor.  Police officers are called to help people in all neighborhoods - perhaps yours.  DV is not a private affair between husband and wife.  Arrests are made in all cases where probable cause exists that support the charge of domestic assault and battery.  Bar none.

At least that is what is supposed to happen.  In some cases police officers use their discretion and separate the partners for the night allowing for a period of time out.  A Minnesota study suggests this might make matters worse in the long run.  Early intervention making a mandatory arrest may be a better stopping point than having an angry spouse spend the night in a hotel.  Why?

Domestic violence behaviors germinate in an environment of secrecy during which an abusive spouse slowly isolates his intimate partner from her support - family, friends, finances.  In doing so there is a subtle but undeniable manipulation of control - usually coupled with threats and intimidation.  There is growing awareness that red flag behaviors precede DV and domestic violence homicide.  Things like pathological jealousy, forced sexual contact, manipulating friendships, and others are the early signs of domestic violence.  There comes a time when police and the judiciary must contain an abusive spouse whether or not he has a record of DV.  A closer look at the abuse timeline may offer hints as to what might happen next and by understanding this decisions about the need for containment become clear.

Social Service Model of Support

THE BEST PROTECTION MUST COME AFTER AN ORDER OF PROTECTION

"The "social service model" of dealing with DV does not now and has never worked in preventing domestic violence homicide," according to Brian Gagan, co-author of the Psychological Autopsy conducted in 2011 on Steven Lake of Dexter, ME.  Lake killed his family and then himself on June 13, 2011 after violating a protection from abuse order at least 4 times in the previous year.  His wife Amy took all the steps she could to protect herself and her two children.  She received excellent support from local women's advocates in her area.  She had a safety plan.  What when wrong?

The social service model of support relies on well trained and organized caregivers who provide education, counseling, and when necessary housing for families engaged in contentious and violent relationships.  The "support" model is generally victim focused in terms of the active engagement it takes and the role it plays in assisting women with the tools they need to begin the process of disengaging from a violent spouse.  Counseling is provided to women and their children to bolster sagging self-esteem and to reconstruct well-engrained erroneous beliefs about the nature of relationships, intimacy, and respect.

Some believe this does not go far enough.  "Focusing upon support of DV victims does not prevent domestic violence homicide, as we all learned clearly in the Lake case" according to Gagan, a former police officer now living in Scottsdale, AZ. "Support is both the easy and dangerous way out of the DV quagmire.  Instead, the mission must be prevention of serious bodily injury and death." said Gagan.  The protection from abuse orders fail in their inherent mission to protect women from potential harm and further violence.  There are not enough legal contingencies for men who violate the orders of protection and many are released form jail on paltry amounts of bail.  When a domestic violence terrorist engages in violent threats and actions e.g. attempt at strangulation, he has revealed a window into his callous, inhumane, soul and should not be free.  The state of Maine has started looking at changes in bail requirements for those who violate orders of protection.  Steven Lake while living in Harmony, Maine with is wife and two children held them all at gun point for over an hour while he rambled on in an effort to control their every breath.  One year later he killed them all.

When the police take a DV complaint in Massachusetts the parties involved are counseled about their rights under the law.  This affords victims with the perfunctory tools to begin protecting themselves and their families.  The process begins with a courageous victim making the decision that they have had enough abuse.  Many clinicians believe this is when the victim is at greatest risk - when she decides to leave.  If there is consensus in this statement than the greatest support must be provided at this point in time or we fail as a society to take reasonable steps to protect our most vulnerable people.  That clearly is the case in many of the domestic violence homicides that occur around the world.  The failure to protect, on a social level, leaves victims alone to be tortured, murdered, or further marginalized when allowed to live.  This is the group generally labelled lost to follow-up but an effort must be made to keep them engaged and protected.